One of the turning points in my life occurred when I was learning to powder ski through groves of trees. I loved the freedom of flying down a groomed run and wanted to experience the exhilaration of powder skiing through a forest – but I hadn’t realised how scary it’d be.

Jumping on the chairlift for another try, I explained to my instructor how I was feeling as I skied down the steep, tree-lined slope. “I feel like I’m going to ski right into a tree, and I’m afraid I’m going to get hurt.”

“The secret is to keep your eyes on the spaces between the trees, not on the trees,” he said. “Look to where you’re going, not where you don’t want to go.”

Sure enough, as soon as I took my focus off the trees and looked at the spaces between them, it was like a magnet pulled me through with ease.

It’s exactly the same in life. Many of us get discouraged and frustrated by the obstacles in our way – we worry and fear the worst. Yet we must remember, we’re drawn to what we give our attention to.

When you focus on your fears, problems and what’s not working, you get more of the same. Instead, focus on what you desire, on how you want to feel and on the solution.

Watch your words. When making a comment or requesting something from someone, say what you want, not what you don’t want. For example, if your child is planning to drive a long distance late at night, say, “Drive carefully” instead of “Don’t fall asleep”.

Take time each day to give gratitude for what’s going right in your life. You could do it when you first wake up, before you eat a meal, or before you go to bed. The more you’re grateful, the more things you’ll find to be grateful for.

As you ski down the hill of life, identify where you want to go, not where you don’t want to go. Let go of control – follow the path of least resistance and let it flow.


#1. Notice when you focus on what you don’t want. This could be giving attention to a problem, a negative person or a fear of what could go wrong. Worry and frustration fit into this category.

#2. Acknowledge the impact this could have on your life. Is this where you want to go? Make a choice. If it’s not something you desire, don’t give it airtime.

#3. Stop and turn it around. Identify what you really want. See and feel your desired outcome. You don’t have to know how or when it’s going to happen, just move forward, taking action and acting as if it’s already unfolding.